My Life, My Game, My Rules !!

Blogging ........

2011-11-08T10:24:00.002+08:00

So everytime i Remember I have a Bloggg........ i decide to write in it......and when I do get started.....I go Blank......

I sometimes re-read my old entries........ Hahah no 1 der, no 1 reads this .......BUT ME !!

sighhh !!! What Shall I write about today?? Why did i think Blogging about my life was going to be fun ?? Hummmm Maybe my 1st entry can help answer that 1.....

Anywho....... of the many many leaf ive turned (Guess thats suppose to happen when ya 20something - "Finding 1-self") m turning over another 1 ..............I said TUrning (Cont. tense) im already in it !!

Ive joined the 8 week challenge with bootcamp, and in this challenge you get to WIN RM15000 whooo hooo ....!! Blek !! Yes, i Know...there is no way I could Win this 15000, 1st price among 5000 people in malaysia n Australia ??? Nways, to cut my depressing losses, I didnt join this just cause I know I COULDNT WIN 15000, but i Joined it so I would have the support system to change my life.

1. Wake up early (Ive tot it was cool to wake up late n called the ppl who woke up early - Crazy !!)
2. Live a healthier life sytle - (alot of the people around me is pretty unhealthy - Dont want to be like that)
3. Understand the Food I eat - ( coming from a background where Food is never hard to get - what would it be like, if I cant eat what I wanted ?)
4. Level of my will-power - I guess when we are younger, its easier to drop a habit, but is it the same when we are older ?

13th june 2011- 19th June 2011

2011-06-13T15:53:00.002+08:00

Itenery

Monday - work, Bootcamp till 745, 9pm meet up with Aaron for a jog

Tuesday - Work , Meet up with Ann and natalie

Wednesday - Work, Bootcamp till 745, Private Practice

Thursday - Work, Go for Rehersal dinner at the Church on Jln Gasing

Friday - Work , Bootcamp , Edwards- Bday Drinks

Saturday - Be at zini's house for Wedding and then to church then to dinner then after wedding - Clubbing

Sunday - Meet up with Jan for branch then T

Dad's getting his Angiogram today

2011-05-25T13:39:00.001+08:00

So dad's in the hospital ......

Mom n i are Sick - we've got a cold + headaches + stuffed noses = Crazy heads

alrite !! going to the hospital now n get dad sorted out now !

Affin Bank called !

2011-05-25T13:31:00.001+08:00

Affin Bank:Hi, Miss Choong shu fen, We would like to invite your husband Mr Steven Choong for our cocktail party

me: U mean my Father ?

Affin Bank : Huh

me:If im a Miss, and Steven n i have the same surname , Steven Choong would have to be my father, No ?

Affin Bank: So, we would like to invite your father to our high value customer cocktail

me: Dont think he would be intersted, since he's got a heart problem and is in the hospital now

Affin Bank : Oh heart problem shouldnt eat too much fatty food and drink too much alcohol

me: yes !

Caller : maybe we'll invite him to our cocktail party next time ?! because only our invited clients gets to come

A 9 day Mission !!!

2010-12-13T11:08:00.002+08:00

So, Chuong is leaving to London for Christmas....... I must have an objective/something to do, else ,im just going to be sleeping the whole time.

I have decided, I'd do a little parting since its kok's burfday, spend Christmas with Family, Run a marathon, Finish a book and Search for a new Biz to start ! Thats like 5 things to do in 9 days ?! how how how ?! can i ?

A friendship

2010-10-12T12:35:00.003+08:00

Its a funny thing Friendships .......

friendships comes n goes, we grow out of it, we grow into 1........whatever it is, Friendships should be easy......Rite ?

If we grow out of it - we should just let it be, and not force it to become something its Weird....

Sometimes an acquaintance grows into a perfect natural friendship - even then we shouldn't take it for granted

Basically, what I am trying to say is - Friendships shouldn't have expectation of the other person, but more of being comfortable with the other person being around.......

Well, i think this is what I am trying to say.

I watched Wall street

2010-09-24T16:33:00.002+08:00

I watched Wall Street with Edward yesterday !!

Ive been so out of touch with what is going on lately, I didnt even know such a movie came out, but edward said, i'd like it...so we went to watch it.

GUess what ? I Did Like it !! hahaha

But to tell u the truth, if there wasnt a father daughter relationship and a love relationship in the movie it would be boring. Not because i Didnt understand the economics of it but I think the economics of it, IS OLD !!

A socialist disguise in a open market and America being the hypocrites ? and greed and media having a big part to do with it all thou they say they are just reporting things as it is.

Anyways, the relationship part of the movie was really moving. I'd like to watch it again ;)

Sids Pub

2010-09-24T16:30:00.002+08:00

Sids pub just open in Plaza Damansara - which is near my office !!! I feel so bless.

I can go down for a Strongbow every time my parents stresses me out ;)

a raise

2010-09-24T16:26:00.002+08:00

So i havent gotten a raise in a long time !

Let me think?? its prolly been a good 3 years now that i havent got a raise.......

U see, i Work for my parents.....If u know anyone who work for their parents, u will realise, parents always say - y are u worried about a raise ? The company is going to be yours when i Die anyways ....

so should I be looking forward to the day my parents die ? hummmm

Hiring weirdos

2010-09-24T15:57:00.003+08:00

This should be a story told !

I interviewed a lady for an admin position on Tuesday - Hiring for mom, she's not in the office yet......

Told mom about her, mom said, Hire, we wouldnt know how good she is, till we try her out. So i called her back to tell her, she's got a job, and i asked her, when can she start.

Interviewee - Thursday
Me - Okay !!
Interviewee - How much are u offering for the job ?
Me - Your asking price ;)
Interviewee - Thats fantastic, Thanks alot.

Thursday

830am
Me : Good Morning, How have u been, since we last met ?
interviewee: Good, and I want to thank you again for giving me this job
Me: you are most welcome
Interviewee : did u know yesterday, i came over to check where i should park my car, and they told my nearest to the mosque is the cheapest.
me: Oh...... thats great, its not very far from the office
Interviewee: Oh i Brought my umbrella, incase it rains, its been raining everyday now.....
me: oh yeah, thats a good idea, it has, well, u can put your umbrella, under the table if u wish.

9.00am

Technical staff 1 : walks in - Good Morning
Me: Technical staff 1, say hi to our new admin girl , interviewee
Technical staff 1 - Hello.... good morning, How are you ?
Interviewee - Hello, its very nice to meet u

9.10am
Technical staff 2 walks in - Grumpy cause his type burst.
me - Technical staff 2, say hi to interviewee, she's out new admin Girl
Technical staff 2- Hi
Interviewee - Hello

945am

Manager from Penang walks in the office

Manager from Penang - hello, im Manager from Penang, How are u ?
Interviewee- hello, I met you on thursday when i came in for interview
Manager from penang - Oh yes, I remember ...... Welcome

10.00am
Interview: hey steph, Im going to go downstairs for a bit and get a drink.
Me: Okay

10.30
Manager from penang - can you come with me to kepong ?
me - sure, lets let interviewee come back 1st, before we go

I walked to her table and realize she didnt bring her PASS to the Main office Door.

me: Manager from Penang - I think we should wait till she comes back, cause she forgot to bring her a pass to the door.
Manager from Penang: Okay

11.00am

Manager from Penang : Hummm what time do u think she is coming back ?
Me: she said, she was only going down to get a drink, Let me call her
Me: Calling - no answer, phone switched off.....

11.30am

Me: hummmmm Maybe we should not wait for her.......
Manager from Penang : are u sure ?
Me: yes.

We left the office and came back after lunch

1pm

Me : Wow she is still not back yet ?
Me : I dont think she is coming back anymore :(

OMG ! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PPL ? DONT COME FOR AN INTERVIEW, IF U ARE NOT INTERESTED IN THE JOB ! OMG

Marathon

2010-06-28T13:22:00.002+08:00

So, In life now,I've ran a 7.7 KMs marathon in PutraJaya.....n now a 21Kms (standard chartered Kl city) marathon.

Once Ive done a 41 km marathon , i will stop running marathon - apparently people dies from marathon running. But maybe I will do the tiny marathons, like the 10kms ones ;)

Emasculating a Man by Out manning him ?

2010-06-25T13:11:00.002+08:00

One sure way to lose a man’s interest is to make ourselves “smaller” or “less-than” so we don’t intimidate him. We play down our strengths, successes, and abilities because we think that men are competitive and want to be better than we are at everything. It’s simply not true!

If you’re a successful woman, revel in your success and happiness! Run everything at work, be firm, be tough, be managerial and multi-tasking. But when you’re on a date with a man, or at home, or hanging out together, don’t try to run or manage him.

There are subtle ways you may be doing this that completely emasculates a man and makes him feel not only terrible about himself, but turns him away from you. For example, he’ll tell you about a problem he’s having and you say, “You should do this …” or “If I were you, I wouldn’t do that …” This makes him feel managed—like he’s a child and you’re his mother. This isn’t a good feeling for a man. He wants to feel respected and admired, not mothered.

No man wants to be in a relationship with a woman that makes him feel like a child or with a woman who acts very masculine. When you take charge, have opinions about everything—including where you go and what you do—and what you think about him, you are displaying masculine energy.

---->> U know what ? NO WOMEN WANTS to be mothered too. So i think, there should be some respect on how far both sexes has come........ DO NOT TRY TO GIVE US SOLUTIONS.....cause honestly - it makes u look stupid to think, I HAVENT THOUGHT ABOUT IT ! piff

Bloggie

2010-04-19T01:57:00.003+08:00

Reading my blog's old post is just so funny......i can see my constant mood swings, and times of weirdness....I think this is a great way to find out who n what i really am ......

most emotions are writen in here, i think because i think, NO 1 reads my Blog...which is great.....

U know they say, if u publish it, someone is going to read it. and because of that, I write properlly and i write like i have an army of ME to read it, so i know how im feeling at the moment.

But i think if i ever get lost again in life, I would read my blog's old post......its weird

U see the Ups and Down of emotion, the random post are my favorite......

Origins !! Can we ever let go ?

2010-04-19T01:09:00.004+08:00

I think, people who moves out of their place of origin, are more likely to bring along their believes, language, culture then those who stays. We stick to our own kind ? so we do not loose that past, or ourselves ? or origin we call home ?

I find foreigners saying things like " this is how we do it back home" or " U know, in my country, this will not happen" or "I do it cause its part of my culture or Lets celebrate this cause back home its ( a certain event)"

Whereas people in their home country, are more likely to be open to change and new ideas ? it would be a drag to celebrate certain things. (For me, Chinese new year, was always a Drag....... but its great now, cause parents always plan a holiday instead of a open house........)

Yesterday, I read an article where languages and culture are practiced by the travelers of that country then the people from that country itself. Then it got me thinking. People do tend to be more defensive especially when they are not in their home countries.

We generally do crave for little things that reminds us of "home"

maybe its cause when there is so much change happening in one's life, we need a little CONSTANT, to keep us grounded ?

Alot of us today have heard about Change is inevitable......therefore, we go with it, and its easy cause there is just so much to explore now a days and its so easy to explore and learn new things, but we all need a little balance.....

Im not sure, but i sure do, I am all ready for change when i walk out the door, of my home. But im really anal about how things are around my house, especially in my room......

N i love coming back to things i grew up with ......my little music box which i got many many years back, little old stuffs around my room which makes me feel like im home, old movies/cartoons i watched while growing up. takes me away from change or life or whatever, but it sure makes me feel secure ;)

I need it even more now, that ive moved out of my parents.......

PHD - what should i do my paper on ?

2010-03-02T11:35:00.003+08:00

Stephanie : Should i be doing something bussinessy - ie- economics or something shit ass boring like that or do Humanities or social science

Shu Fen : Hummmmmm

Stephanie: but the problem is, I did my degree and masters in Biz - so I am kinda stuck

Shu Fen : Lets see if it makes sense to link it, BiZ and Social science

Stephanie : OKay - Because economically, firms hire and deliver products to society, n the market is becoming more global and therefore, developing countries and it should colide with humanity and social problems

Shu Fen : Sooo...... hummmmm In conclusion ???

Stephanie : argh Dont know, Lets just get thru the GRE Test

2010

2010-03-01T13:02:00.003+08:00

So, 2010 is here, and its after CNY tooo.......

As bad as 2009 has been, I think this year should be much better.........

Signals of the light at the end of the tunnel -->

-->I've made some new Friends this year, ran a marathon, and hiked a few hills and mountains, I own a new car, renting my own place, Decided to Do my PHD in America NEXT YEAR, M going to enroll myself for the required GRE test.... However, I am still deciding on what i want my dissertation to deliver. This year I am also looking into coming out with a new line of products..... Hence my trip to China for an exhibition next week.......

Looks BZ huh this year ?? Yup....But not to worry, Ive put some time aside for my social life and personal time of reading and DVDs ;)

Loving Life again......

Missing u

2009-12-04T15:05:00.002+08:00

Dear Blog,

I've Missed you so !!

Shall look into allocating time for you from now on !

Meantime, kisses to all !

catching up with mom ??!!

2009-09-05T17:19:00.002+08:00

Call me Asian, but Parents means alot to me. It always is a shit feeling with my parents dont speak to me. Now that ive been kicked out but my mom is starting to come around to talk to me, and well....my dad ?? he's still saying get out of my face. Think he is dissapointed :(

Well....Mom n i have had 2 lunches , 2 weeks in a row, im guessing thats a good sign :/ I dont know how to feel about all this , but its frustrating me....... cant talk to anyone about it, cause it will just sound lame.....

yes yes, i know im steping up in the game of independence ...... but its always nice to have your parents approval.....

Sigh ! whatever, this is irritating .................. argh

Updates - on starting a new life !

2009-09-05T17:08:00.002+08:00

dear Blog,

So sorry i havent wrote in a while :( but there has been heaps of updates since my last entry......

I know i wrote about being homeless, jobless and transportless :( but but but, I just got a Great Job with Kelly Services, hopefully i'll be good at it...Fingers crossed. I start work on the 7th. 09.09 (Monday) its just training for a week and its a Sales job but I get to be National sales Manager reporting to a director...... its pretty cool, i think. I got some new cloths for work tooooo....

and I just bought a car, it should be delivered next week to jason's place, as I would be in the office already ;) Why do i need a car ?? Well i am in National Sales and public trasportation in KL, is the Worst ........

Homeless ?? well i am staying with Chuong (BF), but things have just been upside down so much, I still feel I need to get a place of my own. I am still not use to staying with someone just yet, i think. Cant feel like someone will kick me out on the streets, every time we argue :( yes yes ! its sad !

Im in between now, so, lets jsut hope in a couple of weeks ill sort more stuffs out ....

jobless and Homeless

2009-07-07T18:54:00.002+08:00

Well, Guess its not a secret anymore, I am homeless and Jobless now ?!

This will also mean, I do not have a car, but i do have what ever i can carry out of the house with 1 bag. haha

being homeless ? is it bad ?? - well it is not, I have great friends, it helps big time ;)

Being Jobless ? its bad - considering im currently living on my savings :( need to get a job soon.

whats the worst ? well, I;d have to say, its finding myself !

I just cant seem to answer the question of what i want to do in life :(

weird enough, No 1 can answer this question for me either :(

Im having a cancerian week !

2009-06-24T11:17:00.002+08:00

I hate Mood Swings !!

Its driving me crazy !! im cool 1 minute and and PISSY the next...... and its with everything....But i cant let anyone know, or they might think im nuts ?! so i just keep quiet ! n when im out socializing, and i suddenly keep quiet, people around me think they have made me angry :( Sorry guys !

Sigh...... Sounds like im pretty unstable !

damn ! Never tot I would be one of those crazy ones ! !

But someone once said, If everyone around u is crazy, who would really seem to be the crazy one ?

taking a break

2009-06-17T17:01:00.002+08:00

Today im going for meditation class........ the "GURU" said, if we visualize it, it will manifest!!

Tonight im going to visualize falling sick for a week....... not enough to be in the hospital, but sick enough to stay home or away from work.........

If I cannot afford to apply for leave n go on holiday,i think this is 1 way I can let go of some responsibilities .......

Cancer Beauty Profile

2009-05-29T15:03:00.002+08:00

As a Cancer, a Cardinal Water Sign, you love to care for the downtrodden and very often your own needs are overlooked. Your beauty routine, then, is likely minimal -- if anything. Lucky for you, Cancers have expressive eyes and cheekbones to die for! While your sparkling, emotive eyes, chiseled bone structure and womanly proportions make you the picture of the feminine urge to nurture, there's more to you than meets the eye!

From the outside, you present yourself as a sensible caregiver -- whether you're a mother or not -- but underneath, you're an emotional and sexual woman. Your beauty is of the librarian-letting-her-hair-down variety. When you do allow yourself a decadent moment, you love to luxuriate in a bubble bath or slather on avocado facemasks and loofah yourself into oblivion. You prefer the classics -- pearls, pastel colors and tried-and-true products such as baby powder and witch hazel.

Your beauty comes from your generosity, your sympathetic nature and your realistic self-image. It's when you open your arms to give the world a warm hug that you become an absolute knockout.

According to this, You should not let me Hug u, if you dont want to fall for me ?! ;)

The cancerian - THATS ME !!

2009-05-29T14:57:00.002+08:00


	Cancer is symbolized by the Crab. You're deeply emotional and intuitive, and your top concern is family. Something of a homebody, you prefer to stay in rather than go out on the town. You can be moody, drawing into your protective shell if things get too intense around you.

5 Things women, dont tell their boyfriends

2009-05-28T02:06:00.002+08:00

1. We like the chase – you chasing us.
Yep, it’s sad but true that when a guy is too eager to catch us we wonder why. What is wrong with this guy? Why is he so clingy? Is he a control freak? Is he a serial dater? A player with many girlfriends on the go? Is he insane? It’s not that we don’t want to be caught, we do, we just don’t want to feel trapped and when things happen too fast trapped is how we feel. We need to be sure of our feelings and of our attraction before we can step off the racetrack and give up the chase. You need to woo us to make us yours. Some guys lay out traps, saying all the right things and meaning none of them, in an attempt to woo us and this gives way to our biggest fear; falling prey to an insincere guy who is more about the game than being in a relationship. For this reason even once we’re yours, even once we are sure of your feelings and you are sure of ours, we need to still feel a little bit of the chase. When you chase us we feel like you want us and are willing to do some work to be with us and we don’t want that feeling to go away just because you’ve caught us.

2. When we say we’re “OK” or that things are “fine” the opposite is probably true.
Girls are communicators. It is hardwired in to our psyches to talk and talk and talk some more whenever there is discord or conflict. So if you sense there’s a problem and gather the courage to ask us and we respond with a “fine” or “it’s ok” or some other sentence with less than 7 (short) words chances are good that we really want to talk. So, you think, what’s a guy to do? You ask a question, you get an answer, and you plan based on that answer. Who wants to read between the lines or guess what is really going on? What a waste of time, right? Wrong! When girls pull the short answers out during a conversation it is because we want you to put the effort in to getting us to open up. It comes from a place of feeling like you don’t usually care what we have to say so we want you to put some effort in to getting us to talk so we can be sure we will be listened to. Now those perceptive guys among you may have your hands up right now waiting to ask the obvious question… if a girl feels like she’s not usually heard isn’t that the REAL problem? Yes, yes it is, and one little talk won’t stop that feeling of being marginalized. In psychology we call this a learned response, a behavior that does not come naturally but rather has been developed through a process called social conditioning. You may very well be the most attentive boyfriend since the dawn of time but if her previous guys made her feel insignificant or unheard you’ll have to help her carry that baggage. Heck, you’ll have to help her unpack it and put it away! So when your girl replies with a curt little answer to your questions don’t take her at face value. Calmly and gently ask her a few more times. Once she feels like you will hear her nature will take over and, voila! You’ll be communicating.

3. We want you to have your guy time.
It is such a myth that girls don’t like to let their guy just hang with the boys. It's a terrible lie perpetrated by relationship-phobes throughout the ages. It is totally untrue that we want you to give up your life to be with us. Think of it this way… when we met you and fell for you, you were (hopefully) single and your friends were a big part of your life. Take your friends away and a big piece of the guy we fell for goes with them. So we want you to keep your guy time. We know you need your friends and truth be told we need our friends too. That being said, obviously when you are single you have lots of spare time to spend with friends but when you are in a relationship some of that time is going to be taken up by your significant other (A.K.A. us). That is only normal. It is normal for you to need your guy time and it is normal for you to want to spend time with us. If you find the right balance the guy-time issue quickly becomes a non-issue. It is when we feel like you don’t make as much time for us as you do for them or that you resent being away from your friends when you are with us that the stereotypical “girlfriend verses the friends” scenario takes the stage. It’s all about balance. Spending time with your friends or with us will never be an issue as long as there is a balance and as long as we never feel that they mean more to you than we do or that they come always first.

4. We want to know your friends but aren’t so sure you need to know ours.
I’m not going to lie; this is hypocrisy in its most raw form. We want you to bring us around your friends, we want to know them and we want them to like us, but we aren’t quite as crazy about you knowing our friends. The why of this is as simple as it is irrational and here it is… we want to know your boys so we can understand the kinds of things they may get you to do when we’re not around. In short, will they encourage you to cheat on us, will they get you doing reckless and dangerous things, and will they help you engage in self-destructive activities? What we want to know is if they will be good or bad influences on you. We also want to create a buffer; we want your friends to like us so that they won’t want you to lose us. If there is no tension between your friends and us then we don’t need to fear them asking you to choose between love and friendship. Now on the flip side, we don’t really want you getting all chummy with our friends because we don’t want them to fill you in on all of our dirty little secrets. As previously noted girls are talkers by nature and we don’t want them to let something slip that may make you raise an eyebrow in our direction. We also fear, but will never admit fearing, you wanting one of our friends more than you want us. It’s bad enough to lose your guy to another girl but when that girl was once a friend, well, the sting is even sharper. So allow us this hypocrisy. It’s irrational, that's true, but it’s also quite harmless.

5. We worry that other girls look better now that you are in a relationship.
Mike nailed the core of every girlfriend's relationship insecurity on the head when he brought up the GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome). The idea that life is better on the other side is one of the most destructive forces in relationship world and girls feel that guys fall for it way too often. It is a great fear of ours that once you can’t have other girls you will suddenly want them all. It leads to a lot of unfounded jealousy brought on by innocent comments on your part or casual non-flirtatious conversations with other girls. So what’s a guy to do? In a perfect world you’d stop interacting with other girls altogether but our rational super-ego knows that’s not realistic. What you need to do is follow these three simple rules; 1) never pay more attention to another girl than you do to your girlfriend, 2) never comment over and over how hot/cool/nice/fun another girl is, and 3) if you meet a great girl while you’re in a relationship hook her up with one of your buddies (also known as taking her off the market and getting her out of our face). And should you ever really get the itch to jump the fence and live life on the other side... just do it! Don’t lead us on, don’t cheat on us, don’t sneak around, just end the relationship. If it ends up being a GIGS fueled mistake… oh well, consider it a hard lesson learned and leave us alone... we won't want you back anyway!

Boys ? what do you think ?

Special dedication to Edward

2009-05-20T09:54:00.007+08:00

Bukit Tabur !

we Climbed for the Sunrise !

GMAT !!

2009-05-20T09:35:00.002+08:00

Guess what ?! I decided to take a GMAT test !! as ordered by Mei Ling !!

So I Wiki it, just like all Morons who didnt know what it was ;) And found this : The Graduate Management Admission Test (GMAT, pronounced G-mat) is a computer adaptive standardized test in Mathematics and the English language for measuring aptitude to succeed academically in graduate business studies. Business schools commonly use the test as one of many selection criteria for admission into an MBA program. It is given at various locations around the world. Throughout North America and in many international locations, the GMAT is administered only via computer. In those international locations where an extensive network of computers has not yet been established, the GMAT is offered either at temporary computer-based testing centers on a limited schedule or as a paper-based test (given once or twice a year) at local testing centers. As of May 2009, the fee to take the test is U.S. $250 worldwide.

Ok, so its only USD 250 ?!?! who is it going to kill ?!?! So I Googled it and took ONE sample test. Of all the subjects they had, i saw Algebra ?! Thinking ?! Oh, thats something i know ;)
*Click*
Question 1
A poultry farm has only chickens and pigs. When the manager of the poultry counted the heads of the stock in the farm, the number totaled up to 200. However, when the number of legs was counted, the number totaled up to 540. How many chickens were there in the farm?

Ok, so i worked out the equations:
X= chickens; Y = Pigs
X+Y= 200 (total heads/animals mer)
2X+4Y = 540 (cause chickens got 2 feet n Pigs got 4)

Then...........I forgot !
How do we find X and Y ??

Im so stressed now !

A massive Accident!

2009-04-05T01:52:00.002+08:00

Last night I went for a Puma party.....Free Flow of drinks....but i didnt drink (I wasnt in the mood)

Went back to Chuong's place, watched the 11th Episode of LOST (think its turning into more shit now) - sad but true......well, after it was over, i Drove home, It was already 2.30 am.

On the way home, I met with a major accident. Fortunately for me, I have my seat belt on, and AIR BAGS working in my car. How did it happen ? It was a junction, My light was Green so I floored it and took that turn. As i Turn, I saw a car headlights coming really fast towards me, so I Swayed to the Left to avoid going head on with her.

However, I went up a really High Curb and it screwed up my left front tire and Under Carriage but as she smacked me on the Right front Conner of my car, my whole engine gave way and the Airbags came out. From watching too many movies, I thought my car was going to blow up... so i Dragged myself out of the car as quickly as I can with my phone (incase, it did, i can call someone) and Ran towards her car (which stoped near mine) to see if she is OK, and tried to get her out of the car. After a while, I saw some people coming to stop near the accident spot, I told them to help her out of her car. Mean time, I Called Chuong cause he was near by, he said, he was on his way.....and I then I called my mom, and dad.

Dad was pissed when mom tried to wake him up. But he's much better now, he's just glad that Im fine, thank goodness ;) Well Mom said, they were on their way towards me. I was scared after hearing dad mad over the phone. But I tried to calm myself down.

While waiting for Chuong, The Girl in the Kelisa, asked if she can borrow my phone battery, I said, Y dont u just use my phone, she insisted, that she just wanted my Battery. I said, OK, Im sure she needed to call her parents too.... So I passed it to her..... She showed me that she was bruised and feeling fetigue, So i asked her, if she wanted Chuong to send her to the hospital 1st? She didnt reply.

As my parents arrived, and I notice that this Kelisa Driver CALLED ALL HER FRIENDS instead of her parents :( Im thinking, Maybe she didnt have family here. For the Record I am fine, Ive just got some bruises and Cuts, and aches, but im sure I will be fine. We made a police report on the incident once we got someone to towed the car to the police station. Her friends, got her car towed to a workshop and they took her to the General Hospital, I think. I do Hope she is OK!!

However, I would like to dedicate this post to All Cars Buyers. Please buy cars that has Airbags! If you can pay for insurance? Get AirBags installed in your car. Else You may be seriously Damanged and Insurance May not even help you.

Skiped a Period and Ovarian Cyst !

2009-04-02T11:56:00.002+08:00

Guess what ? I havent had my period in 7 weeks ...... so I decided to make an appointmnet with the Doc. to see whats going on .....

Went there:
Doc asks : are you pregnant ?
Me: Nope !
Doc asks again: Are you trying to get pregnant ?
Me: Nope !
Doc goes : Come on up, Stephanie, we need to scan you !
Me: Ohhhh Kay.....
Doc says - Oh... you're not pregnant
Me: hummmmmmm I know !
Doc: anything happen out of the ordinary these couple of weeks ?
Me: Dont think so ........
Doc: Oh look..... You have an ovarian cyst
Me: Whats that ?
Doc: Its just a little Cyst, Nothing to worry about, But we will want to keep that in check, so come in to see me in 3 Months time, together with your PAP SMEAR test ....
Me: Okay :(

I got off the Table n she switches off the Scanning machine

Doc: So Stephanie!! Im going to give you some pills, to help your period come
Me: Ermmmm, I need it to be over by the 9th ...Im going on a holiday
Doc: Oh ! in that case, Come back from holiday, and if you still haven't got your period, then, pop into my office and tell the nurse, you are here to pick up some pills.
Me: Wokay !

I Stood up and walk out of her office

Doc: So Stephanie! How big is your cyst ?
Me: ermmmmm
Doc: Its 3 cm
Me: Its still interesting ;) C u in a couple of months Doc ;)

Another Lazy Post !

2009-03-07T21:13:00.002+08:00

At least its about myself ....hahhaha

Im the Communicator ;)

You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

Marriage Test !!hhahahah

2009-03-07T21:04:00.001+08:00

How will you choose your Mr Right?

No matter how many men you have beating a path to your front door, when it comes to picking Mr Right, you'll listen to your parents. Not only will you become weary of all your suitors, deep down you don't quite trust your own judgment.

Who will be your future Mr Right?

Your real-life hero will be manly. He'll be dependable, even financially. He will protect you and always respect your feelings. He'll probably be quite a bit older than you.

When will you get married?

As soon as you fall in love, you'll want to grab your man and hang on to him. You will probably marry very young, so it would be wise of you to think carefully before committing.

What sort of wife will you be?

You are a bit tricky. You might pretend to be a sensitive and caring wife in his eyes, but you'll be ready to laugh at him behind his back and eventually you may even leave him for another man.

Will you and your husband have a good time together?

You and your spouse will choose to spend time on more romantic activities. You won't end up quite as healthy, but you'll have plenty of fun going out for drinks, watching concerts or playing cards at home with other friends.

What will your children be like?

Your kids will be very naughty. They will often get into trouble but you will have a great time bringing these fun-loving kids up. They are lively and smart.

How loyal are you?

You get along very well with most guys. Sometimes your friendliness misleads others to think that you're a bit of a flirt, but actually you've got a loyal heart. You'll never have eyes for anyone except your beloved husband.

You are patient and will take good care of your husband and children. Mind you, do not marry a gambler or your life will be totally miserable.

Another Test about me ;)

2009-03-06T15:59:00.002+08:00

Apparently Market is really bad, im spending my tea time ding personality test ;)

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

You value your friendships: 45%

You value your friendships quite a lot but you don't like to show your feelings to others. You would rather keep your feelings to yourself than share them with your friends. You might get a pleasant surprise if you are more open about caring for people - they will probably let you know that you're special to them, too.

You like equality. When you choose a present you first consider what his preference. You are an attractive woman who cares much about your appearance. You always want to look good in public, so you dress very well. These don't match your boyfriend's style sometimes. - i think this is untrue - cause im SLOPPY !!! hahahahaha

You are a jealous person but you try not to let it show

You often get very jealous of others but you are successful at controlling your emotions publicly. When you feel that other people are winning things that you deserve, you get very upset, but you won't hurt anybody else by making a scene. Your jealousy is private. You might, for example, cry yourself to sleep at night when you get really jealous of someone.

Personality Test

2009-03-06T15:46:00.001+08:00

Dear Readers,

I took a personality test@ http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx! Look at what I found out about myself ;-

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Falling In love ?!

2009-03-02T13:04:00.002+08:00

Today a Good friend asked ...... are u afraid of falling in LOVE ?

I hesitated the answer - ok, hesitate is a understatement, I still don't know how to answer this !

So whats wrong with falling in love ?!

you totally make a full of yourself (to some ppl it may be sweet, to some, you will prolly look like a total nut case) - im actually shy ?!?! hahaha
I Dont like loosing control of situations ? - maybe I do but I need to know someone will have my back, soooo maybe I have a problem with trust ?!
Getting Hurt ?! - the last time i Got hurt, I enrolled myself in a MBA - totally lost myself too, lost my sense of confidence, I can't complete a total sentence without feeling like the whole room was going to crash on me

I don't think i can afford to loose control of my life now ! Ive got work, I need a clear, focus head to manage the grounds of my professional life now ! can't afford to screw up work ! Worst of all, Fucking up my professional life for a guy ?! ONE GUY ?!

n that 1 guy is a asshole if he broke your heart ! so now, that's my conclusion ......

To everyone else, they would say - that's a chance you have to take, IF U DON'T TRY, U NEVER KNOW ! HE MAY BE THE 1 that catches u !!

This is way too complicated for me ! I'm not smart enough to be in a relationship .......

Random !

2009-02-25T17:10:00.002+08:00

haha !! I haven't done a Random post in a while .....well, here goes ;)

Adam Kong - my next Holiday is going to be arranged by him
SAW
Pool
malaysian's Penis - http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/2/25/nation/20090225071924&sec=nation
Tabur Hill
Under the Bridge
Story bridge
Sun
BED

Sorry have to stop at bed ! im really tired !

question

2009-02-25T16:59:00.002+08:00

Y do people only miss the things/people we loose ?!

only after a breakup people goes - i really miss you and only now do i know what its like to NOT have u in my life :/

n because of that, we are suppose to accept them back in ?! dont u think thats just unfair to yourself and to the relationship ?!

Happy Valentine's

2009-02-13T14:05:00.003+08:00

I got Flowers sent to my office today n the card says :

There are gifts of many treasures
For both the young and old,
from the tiniest little trinkets
To the great boxes filled with gold

But, put them all together,
And they could stand in Lieu,
of the greatest gift of all
The gift of knowing you.

You remind me of a flower,
Pretty, inside and outside,
A reason why people smile everyday,

You remind me of chocolate,
Luscious and sweet,
Someone people can turn to in crisis,
Loved by all.

You remind me of a teddy,
Cute and huggable,
Someone people feel comfortable with,
Special to all

You remind me of a balloon,
Happy and bouncy,
Someone people can have fun with,
Enjoy by all.

You remind me of a lot of things,
But nothing can compare to the real person,
A friend i can look up to,
Cherished by me.

Happy Valentine's Day
t.l.c.s

Tevina Lee Choo Suat ;)
- recently edited, cause it was pointed out that i misspelled her name wrongly :(

a bad day ?!

2009-02-11T11:41:00.000+08:00

Goodness.....i am having one of those again !! those bad days ?!?!

man ! they come like a damn wave n hit u. Nothing anyone says, can seem to make this day look any better.....sigh ! guess its true when they say, NO 1 can make u happy, ONLY U CAN MAKE YOUR OWNSELF HAPPY ! ;)

how selfish when our other halves says - U MAKE ME HAPPY ?!?! n u think, HAVE U TRIED MAKING ME HAPPY ? did it work ? or u think THINK its suppose to work with your approach ?!?!

pissy day !! fuck ! - mind my french

Cross roads

2009-01-30T02:45:00.002+08:00

Here i am with another Cross Road in life !

family Business - im suggesting we should open a new office Southern Malaysia (JB) as our Second Extended office. We already have offices in Penang (1st extended office) and KL (HQ).

Currently im operating in KL and taking care of Penang. Now that my clients are engaging our services in JB, I decided it makes more sense to open an extended office in JB. With this in Plan, i intend to do a doctorate in Singapore ! Hence there are no proper / credible (TO MY KNOWLEDGE) university to do it in KL.

So I would be based in JB. Now, this is my Dilemma - MY LIFE ! I would be BZ up to my head with work and being enrolled in this new course, Dont know if i would be able to do it, but its a MUST (since i suggested it). Of course there is the concern about the current Market outlook. Sigh ! Further more, on a more personal Note - What about spending time, with a special person ? If any ?! not really !

M I taking on, too many things in life ? Would i be able to handle it ?!

I am 26 this year, would it be stupid of me to still say - im too young to handle this many responsibilities ?! Or even too young to be thinking about relationships ??

Argh !! so Many decision, so little time !?!? Y cant it all just fall on our lap like how it use too when we were Little kids, and mom/dad just makes sure, we GET IT ALL - at least, what ever we need ! ?!?!?!

Australia 2

2009-01-18T21:40:00.000+08:00

Australia ! ;)

2009-01-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

Itinerary

2008-12-25T21:45:00.002+08:00

Sunday
- 10am Flight to Gold Coast
- 6pm (2 hours behind KL) reached Gold Coast
- 1 hour drive to Brisbane
~~ tired.... :( fell sick....was expecting heat and summer but Aus was having some freak weather, n its windy

Monday
- still sick but took a stroll around Brisbane CBD

Tuesday
- Flu to SYDNEY !! ;)
- Sick but Happy ;)
- Stayed in HOliday Inn
- Went to Darling Harbour and we walked to Circular Quay

Wednesday (Christmas Eve)
- insisted in Walking ( cause m able to see more of the CITY),
- Walked to Sydney Oprah House
- Walked across Sydney Harbor Bridge

Thursday (CHRISTMAS)
- Flight at 9pm
- woke up at 11am
- 12noon Checked out
- had CHAR SIEW rice (cause holiday inn "darling harbor"was kinda located NEAR China Town)
- hanged out at Darling Horbor
- walked / took another route to Sydney harbor Bridge from Wharf Theater and Walsh Bay
- at 630 pm took a train from Circular Quay Station to Domestic Station
- In Brisbane now ! - feel some heat tonight.....

Unsure about how i Feel about Australia yet.....Will conclude Soon ....

Bangkok !

2008-12-17T11:07:00.002+08:00

The last time i was in Bangkok for a 5 day meeting, Steve ( my manager) n i went drinking at the bar opposite our hotel !

On the last night we were there, we made friends with a group of local boys !! n for some odd reason im thinking about 1 of them now !! yumm yummm !! he had very fair skin, and a smile that made me smile ! thou his English was all over the place, we managed to talk about Thailand's politics and economics - just cause of its unrest, and it was out on the newspaper that day.

But i got his friend on my MSN, guess we will meet up when i get there next ;)

Stephie: needs a meeting in Bangkok soon

before AUS !

2008-12-15T16:00:00.002+08:00

okay ! so i am going to AUS!!! whoo hoooo

when m i going ? oh !! THIS SUNDAY !! whoo hooo !!!

there are so much to do before i leave !

Finish all (work's) WIPs before i leave, Moving house, get a maid, sister will be back from the US on wednesday, saturday is mom's b'day ! phew - thats a mouth full of things to do ! i cant wait to get all these done.

IM LOOKING FORWARD TO GOOOOOOOOOO

Confession

2008-12-12T16:55:00.002+08:00

OK, so everyone of my friends are either getting married, or attached or heading towards that road of togetherness and building a family of some sort ?!

So what about Stephanie Choong Shu Fen ?! well, she's rejected 4 marriage proposals and a couple of offers till today......

Question is - whats wrong ? she doesn't want to get married ? She Doesn't want Children ? Too career minded ? Thinks she is still young? she still wants to have the single life fun ?

honestly ? i don't know either ?! guess its that feeling of Finding/managing yourself. I mean, I am still finding myself/identifying myself. Knowing who I really am. But if there is NO constant definition (i know i can never be a constant definition), how am suppose to expect my other half to understand me. N if he doesn't, I would blame him for it, and when i come back to my conclusion as to why he doesn't, I'd hate myself for blaming him ! Seeeeee, its a dilemma !!

But there is 1 think I'm sure off, I want Children ! Ive always wanted children.I'm pretty sure, with Children, I will be able to define myself better. Not an absolute, but it will force me to grow up and equip myself better for the world.

So what do I do now? adopt ?! get someone to impregnate me ? hahaha NO WAY ! DAD WILL KILL ME. Sigh !

GYM !

2008-12-10T17:13:00.003+08:00

I woke up ..... Prolly ont he wrong side of the bed - (should try the right side, next time, hehe) n went to the office EARLIER THEN USUAL to find out that im irritated or frustrated at everything!

Figured, it must be me, so i left the office and went to the gym at 10.30am .... I ran my heart out and lift weights and all that adrenaline made me feel good.

But rite after that, i met up with Jason n Annie n we went for climax pork (char siew fan) its super fattening and i can feel my arteries clogging up :(

yes ! that lead to another depression on top of my bad day ! :(

any who, without giving up on the day, i went to ampang for an appointment and after the appointment, it rained, n to avoid the jam, i used a road i wasn't exactly familiar with and got lost in Wangsa maju - another havoc place:(

Generally a bad day, Think I'm going to the gym again after work !

December December

2008-12-09T11:57:00.002+08:00

December december, the month we long for all year !

This is 1 month where we celebrate Christmas and New Years, and this is also the month, we CLEAR out leave days (if you are working)

This gives u a large amount of days to go for a loooooong break and reflect on the year that's just passed.

Well, I still dont know what to make out for this year ! This year holds many weird eventful occations and memories.

hummmm will come back to you when ive conclude it !

P.S - Rick n ee, this is a update for u guys, since ya the only readers who faithfully checking this blog heheh ! ;)

Ungrateful

2008-10-05T23:52:00.003+08:00

Ungrateful people hurt people with their ignorance. Yes i am hurt, but i think its not their fault, its actually mine for not foreseeing this coming ! We should be smarter.....anyways ! it does hurt !

all these mambo jumbo about giving and how its good and all, what they didn't include in all this mambo jumbo is that, YOU SHOULD CHOOSE THE RITE PERSON TO BE GIVING WITH, NOT JUST ANYONE - cause people who doesn't deserve it, will not know how to appreciate it and THAT NON APPRECIATION, will HURT U !

i just got hurt last night ! not by a boyfriend or anything cliche like that - its typical of my self defence to come up when i get into a relationship, however, yesterday i was actually hurt by one of my friends whom calls me her BEST FRIEND !

now, its not her fault, its mine. She calls me her best friend probably because i enable her to feel the way she feels around me ! i accommodate the environment that she puts me in. Since I'm forgetful and forgiving, they just keep pushing and pushing and pushing and I just let it happen.

What changed ? Yesterday, i was TIRED, i slept too little, started my day at 6am till 12 mid night and of course i wasn't thinking straight anymore and i was emotional, end of the day i found myself crying my eyes out cause i WAS hurt by ONE statement and the fact that i didn't get a thank you for being at her hand and feet, wasn't helping.

conclude - I ain't helping anyone who thinks THEY deserve it, I will only HELP when I THINK, THEY DO!

People who has all the answers for everyone !

2008-09-22T14:40:00.003+08:00

U know what i hate most ?!

People who thinks they have the answers for all your problems !?

In what blardy state of mind are they in, to even think they can fit into MY SHOES!?

ME:its never a holiday cause im never really on a "NO WORK" mode !

HIM:I think u dun clear your work well enough before going for a holiday I normally try to clear as much as I can before a holiday and what I cannot clear I delegate to colleagues so when I am on hols I dun get disturbed

Conclude !

This is y, i shouldnt tell anyone anything ! cause i only get the most ridiculous answers ! n all of a sudden, im the 1 with the problem !

Does anything goes thru your head before it comes out ?! What a blardy insensitive thing to say !

Trust !

2008-09-22T10:24:00.002+08:00

Who can u REALLY trust?

honestly, NO ONE !

U'll never know when they will screw u over ?! they may not have the intention to, but everyone has a price ! N you never know WHO is cheap !

If a friend "you trust" wants to impress somone, n you happen to be the tool, "your trusted friend" may think, i can trust this person to keep this as a secret........ n poof ! information about u, have fallen into the wrong hands !

n the higer up the corporate ladder or social ladder or what ever ladder u're climbing, suddenly that person, has connections to hold u by the balls !

Why do u have to trust ?

According to some people, trusting and sharing how you feel is BEING HUMAN ! N keeping it all boiled up inside is not the way to live !

- my answer to that was - thats y i need a holiday away from relaity ! every once a while !

I'd say - NOT TRUSTING/DEPENDING ON ANYONE IS CALLED - SURVIVAL !

Conclusion

Trust and share only when you feel absolutely COMFORTABLE ! not to just any DICK in town or anyone who u think shares the same sentiment or even if you think they have the solution to the problem !

NO 1 has a solution to your problem, ONLY YOU DO ! n NO 1 is in the position to help you, their suggestions are mear suggestions, only YOU live with your actions and what ever may happen to u later on in life as a cause and effect OF YOUR DOING N YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

unfair !

2008-09-18T11:58:00.005+08:00

Its unfair to have anyone choose 1 person out of the MILLIONS we meet in life !

how do u know ? which 1 is the 1 ?

1 night stands

2008-09-18T11:58:00.003+08:00

Dear Future Boys !!

Its sweet n all, when u want to turn a 1 night stand escapade to LOVE !

But u must take the other her into consideration..... is she in it for the fun ? is she going thru a phase in life where she just wants to have 1 nighters to get that part of her life done n over with ? IF YES ! Dont turn it into LOVE ! cause if she falls in love with u, that whole escapade DOESNT COUNT ! n she has to go thru it again !

Dont ever turn your 1 night stands to Relationship ! BUT to a certain extend, if ya her BOOTIE CALL, u can think about turning that into a relationship ! cause she wasnt jsut there to have u once ! but more then that, that means, there is a connection !

practical & romantic

2008-08-29T11:06:00.003+08:00

Dear Blog,

Im sorry I have neglected you. Life and tides has consume my time from you ! but it don't matter as it has been said, Im more practical then a romantic.

I've never been the type who gives two hoots about what people think or statements made about me, but for some odd reason, this did ! So i did a little research about ROMANTIC

Read this :-

Practical things are not romantic. Why do you think blenders and toaster ovens are so notoriously unromantic? Because they have an alternative use, of course. But get her a poofy thing that sits on her dresser behind her jewelry box, never to be touched or moved again, and she'll melt in your arms.

Ermmmmmmmm WHAT ? NO NO !! GET ME A SPORTS CAR WITH MY NAME ENGRAVED ON ITS SEATS ! THAT'S ROMANTIC !

More :-

To be romantic, you have to call each other names carefully crafted to make yourself and everyone around you throw up.

IM NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ! SMOOCHY POO ?!?!? N GOOGLYYY WOOGLYYY BEAR

What "being romantic" means varies widely from person to person, but at its core, romance involves doing something to express affection in a meaningful yet unexpected way. (like that sports car, steph wants with her name on the seats ! ) A true act of romance requires creativity and sincerity, often inspired by love (either its presence or its possibility). While harboring affection for someone might be easy, translating it into romance usually is not. http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Romantic

OK, now that i read all these I DO NOT THINK IM UNROMANTIC !

IM JUST HAVE PRACTICAL NEEDS ! n if you're going to be romantic with me, U SHOULD SUIT my needs, just like how i will personalise your needs to what i can offer ! so be it, if U WANT A TEDDY BEAR or a HOT 3some with me and another girl ! ;)

phew !! to think a girl was not romantic ! piff , i can argue u wrong now !

i am .......

2008-08-15T15:10:00.003+08:00

Scratching every bit of my brain
Here I stand alone,In the darkest night
Captured by silence
On the verge of a high mountain
Where even a bit ahead
And I l fall in the grave depths
I cannot go back either as the road's closed
And there is no way ahead even
Darkness all around My eyes are searching a way
With a lamp of hope...
That may go out any moment.

ART

2008-08-15T15:09:00.000+08:00

Art means no dimensions, no boundaries, no limitations.Art means to create, create new dimensions,to go beyond the ordinary. Art needs courage to innovate. Innovations which were not known to people before. Art means to discover the unknown, to explore, a journey into the depths of unknown , an exploration that only knows to explore more......

Art is what we find into the depth of ourselves.

What do u think?

2008-08-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

Someone said, If i had a Galfriend like you, U would never have to walk on roads ever again but on air.

Wow, what do you say to something like that? question is ....

should i be impress? or insulted ?

Yes! there's nothing else to blog about, so i randomly pick up things or things people say to me n put it up for u ppl to read !! entertaining isn't it ?

HAVE FUN ! tell me ya comments ;)

the older i get !

2008-08-04T17:05:00.003+08:00

The older i am , the grumpier i am ...... i think its cause of the environment i am in ! n the fact that i m such a control freak !

I think if i dont find a damn way to relax, im going to burst !

I need!! I need to learn to chill !!

target - latest by 35 (10 years from now) year old, i would have made it and ill take a less stressful job (as a hobby) n start living life !

I hope i have 10 years of turning away from the world to give !

The older i get, the less i care ! I will screw anyone over (work realated) to get what i want ! i keep my friends around cause they remind me of who i use to be !

I am even blogging less these days - DOORS are closing with me, its hard to let anyone in now !

sigh !

A holiday !

2008-08-01T15:38:00.002+08:00

I am in need of a holiday. 1 thats not related to work or anything involving "my reality". I want a GET AWAY, for a couple of days.

so far, m looking forward to a get away to AUS to see jason in December. But December is such a long time away. I want to go somewhere NOW. Sigh !

I hate planning for holidays! i hate being tight financially, i was so much better in managing my finances before, at any one time, i could just pack up n leave, now i have to PLAN it ! what a shitty life !

I ain't going to be complaining for long, m going to be picking up my act n live the life i always wanted ! the Carefree life, no responsibilities and no obligations n just sucking up what ever life throws at me.

I just feel a little clustered now ! i need some fresh air !

OK, got to stop blogging now ! m going to see a client for a much needed cup of coffee with him ;)

The begining !

2008-07-29T09:28:00.016+08:00

Thats Dad, Mom n MEEE
yup ! that sleepy head there, thats me !

Thats me listening to music and reading "the Chinese beliefs"
this is where i started to pretend to be wiser then i look :P

Had a head operation, it went sucessful I guess

Mummy n I

Thats Johnson - my cousin !
U big Bafoon !

Mummy n daddy's Amusement

Thats me going crazy ! WITHOUT ALCOHOL !

Thats me and my sister !

Thats me, Guarding the car ?Thats Dad n I on a weekend, when we are not talking about work ! Thats my sister, me n dad, we just achieve this climb in Taman Negara !
(I think dad was trying to turn us into boys then)

Birthday Wishes ! 16th - 17thjuly morning

2008-07-17T11:35:00.003+08:00

Thanks for all the B'day wishes ppl !

There were so many i lost count! thats exactly what i needed !

Big thanks to Chui Munn for arranging drinks n a catch up session last night !

Adam ! thanks for calling all the way from NY - haha, its been such a long time, but i instantly recognize your blurness thru the phone ;)

Goals

2008-07-16T11:23:00.003+08:00

my short term goal is :

well, im looking into getting this deal in JB (JOHOR) n opening a Singapore office, n heading that office, at the same time, accomplishing my doctorate in SG..... of course, this means, i can PARTAY in MOS with all the SG mofos !!

Long term Goal is to :

be able to come into the office 1 week a month n take my 3 weeks off to do what ever i want ! coming in to the office will be an option, cause i have people to run my systems n processes for me

What great Goals - by then i can say - MY LIFE IS GREAT !

Im yours by Jason Mraz !

2008-07-14T13:08:00.000+08:00

My new Fav. Song !

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm tryin to get back
before the cool done run out I'll be givin it my best test
and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours

*scat*

I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'd be sayin' is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more,
no more it cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you will find that the sky is yours

so please don't, please don't, please don't,
there's no need to complicate,
Cause our time is short
This, this, this is our fate,
I'm yours

Quote !

2008-07-13T20:08:00.001+08:00

Street Smarts is not necessary everything, u can get further, if u get off your lazy ass n open a damn book !!

P. Cambel, “common sense has a particularly bad track record as a check on what is possible”.

EMO

2008-07-10T15:51:00.002+08:00

Y have all my post been so EMO ? maybe its cuase i only blog when im emo ?

okok, this is a happy post !

IM happy ! thinking about going to KK for a random b'day weekend ;) - yes, n also cause zack promised me a outstanding b'day bash all for me !!

its one of those, "if ppl around cant give it to u, look for it somewhere else, the world is too big, bound to find someone who LOVES u, NOW ! "

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHIE - JULY !

2008-07-10T14:53:00.003+08:00

As long as i can remember, JULY has always been a month where i do dinners every night and PARTIED every weekend. There will always be something on FOR ME !

Well..... 10 days has passed and zip ! NOTHING !

how the hell, did i become such a boring person ? This is all I've been hearing :-

COME ON, U'RE MORE THEN THAT, U DON'T NEED A PARTY TO DEFINE U, DO U ? U'RE MORE OF A PERSONAL PERSON ANYWAYS, THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THEN PARTIES ?!

annie wouldn't throw me a proper party this weekend - cause she is IN LOVE! (so much for "bros over hos" rite? guess that doesnt apply to my galfriends)

Anton cant take me out this weekend - cause he wouldn't be in town

sigh ! i guess im just frustrated that this is happening, n i KNOW it is signs of growing up ! BUT WHO SAID, I WANT TO GROW UP ?

but then again, who said, i can't party alone on my b'day ? I can get squash with alcohol and make new friends - mission of being THE NON PERSONAL STEPH for 1 night with a RANDON PERSON ! ;)

Sigh ! im getting bored thinking about this ! i just wish i didnt have to be so conditioned to think, a b'day is suppose to come with something special !

MAYBE IM JUST FEELING LIKE THIS CAUSE IM HAVING MY PERIOD, N IM ATTENTION SEEKING ;)

No more tequila shots for me !

2008-07-02T17:27:00.004+08:00

Im bored ! i feel my life becoming a routine...... I work, socialize, occasional GYM, Occasional Rock climbing, Dinners, Clubbing, Movies, travel, Sleep, Fall Sick, Drive, Swim, walk and yet i still feel bored!

I mean, Im busy as hell, so Busy that, I avoid driving up to Penang, so i can get work done before i get there, to WORK samore. So far that I've been up here, I've fallen sick, Went out drinking, watched a movie, Socialize with some clients.....N i still feel this Void !

Clubbing every weekend ?.....I hardly look forward to it anymore...i also stop enjoying my after work beers ....... I need someone NEW !

Recently I've decided to enrol myself in another course just to keep me bz - but i think i do it jsut to run away from life and this "VOID" whatever it is.

What do u ask for when u can have anything? after awhile everything becomes so mundane.... I need a new objective, purpose in life !

Great Quote !

2008-06-29T11:45:00.000+08:00

When you play it too safe, you’re taking the biggest risk of your life… time is the only wealth we’re given. - Barbara Sher

Today !

2008-06-28T03:24:00.002+08:00

Woke up.....day started ok......until some lady tried to screw it up ! Bitch SCRATCH my car, her number plate came off & bumber scratched but she came out thinking IT WAS MY FAULT. She's Korean, she went on n on screaming at me in Korean n looking all pissed. I stopped, came out of my car, cause she honked (I didnt feel the bang, i drove the 4 wheel), Looked at her, raging towards me, so i raised my voice and said - WHO THE FUCK TOT U HOW TO DRIVE, BITCH?? knowing i wasnt in a wrong, cause i had the rite of way, and she was the 1, who hit me.

But ok, at the end, I calmed down n didn't let her get to me. i went on my way for my very important appointment that I knew I NEEDED to close ! I didn't just get the necessary Numbers, but I did MORE then was expected of me.

of course i was pleased with myself ! (but I will only jump with joy when its done in Black n White) This was something that the company needed, We needed this deal as a slight breather for the next two years to survive ! yes, It was a very important deal !! ;)

After that, I had lunch with a client, whos been asking me out for the last week. He's a very nice guy, as in, he aint weird like the normal men i randomly attract....but i brought my cousin with me, for - just in case purposes. N she was in the area. - Overall, it was great...

After work, I had dinner with my parents, I told them the good news....and Dad said something i very much needed to hear for the longest time, Guess, I needed to EARN it. Well, it reassured where I see myself in the future and of course, it came with responsibilities. But that I can handle with carefully planned out plans with Contingency plans of course. Yes ! i am anal about my future ! Sigh ! but as much as it stresses me out to plan, it pleases me to know i have 1.

Went to meet Puya for some drinks after dinner ! Well, the night was screwed ! piff ! Of course i was pissed ! he apologize....."In a matter of time, ALL guys have a tendency to screw up"-stephanie

So my day had a horrible introduction and conclusion. But the Mid part of it was pretty good. Now i need to sleep !

Focus on the mid day, Focuss.....

Someone imporatant to me

2008-06-28T03:15:00.003+08:00

Metaphorically ...Someone important to me said :

When u know, u can sell ice to Eskimos...u've graduated in Sales !

he also said :

Many people can lure a bird to fly down from a tree.....but only some can ask the bird to fly back up to that tree......When u can do that, U've graduated in Management !

In some many years, ive heard this, I still have not fully understood it or grew onto it yet !!!

Weak !

2008-06-20T12:41:00.003+08:00

Im Sick ! AGAIN !

I get sick every time i don't get enough sleep, but i cant sleep because im worried and i get nightmates - cause i think my mind is weak !

Came back from a holiday on Monday :

I slept for 6 hours - apparently not enough ..... was dizzy all of Tuesday
I slept for another 7 hours - body seems to be able to adjust, but was dehydrated on Wednesday
I slep for 7 hours + had heaps of Fluids - BODY IS ANGRY NOW, ITS DEHYDRATED, DIZZY AND I'VE GOT A COLD

man ! this is so unfair man ! I hate manufacturing defects and imperfections like these......argh ! WEAK WEAK WEAK !!

According to the movie " The Forbidden Kingdom" - Immortals does not suffer from life

Today i wish i was an immortal, when i was younger, i wished i was a robot ........

Sleep !

2008-06-17T00:58:00.002+08:00

Ok ! i admit ! i sleep ALOT ! I can sleep all 24 hours in a day....... if i lay down ..... i will jsut fall asleep !

However, i forgot i was like this. Yes it didnt just started ! I've always been this way !

When i started my MBA - i sleep very little ! cause of the time i needed to complete my assignments and the times, I NEEDED TO BE AWAKE !

Now that im done n over with my MBA, i have more time to myself and i arrange myself to be on holidays ! N i find myself to be sleep every time i lay my head on something ! its unbelievable how i can just dose in n out of my dreams, but......................

Well ! im Not complaining....... I just found my old habit back !

True Fitness

2008-06-11T15:43:00.003+08:00

I have been a member of true Fitness in Hartamas since they opened, 2.5 years ago !

LOng story short, They Over Charged me by mistake N now i have a problem taking back the money that they have no rite to take in the 1st place. As for that, they now MAXED out my credit card ! This mistake is over 10 years NOW, n they are still charging on my card, except, i left it maxed.

This Blog entry is what i want to say to everyone I've been talking too In True Fitness.

Dev

I made a complain to you in Feb 2008 and till now nothing is solved, Only thing u did rite was push the problem to Miss LAM In MAY after u insulted me by - using all these extra charges and turning it into services your company provide.

I kept it very calm and simple n told u politely that, i feel Insulted however, I WANT MY MONEY BACK !

MISS LAM
We've spoke on the whole a couple of times, and all of which U've handled pretty well except today ! Today, U were a BITCH ! - yes thats rite ! DO U'RE fucking job ! If u cant make a decision, stop telling me u can but u come back to with without a solution ! I DONT WANT MORE PROBLEMS ON MY TABLE ! I WANT SOLUTION and a DATE AS TO WHEN MY MONEY IS COMING BACK!

anyways ! This is what i think of u ! - U're a Fucking inconsiderate, waste of time, brainless whore & biatch whos fucking has her boss's SMALL cock up in u constantly !

Yes ! I AM PISSED ! U TAKE MY MONEY N THINK U CAN FUCKING GET AWAY WITH IT? ILL FUCKING, FUCK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IF I CAN - YES IM MAKING THIS PERSONAL U BITCH !!

Conversation we had today :

Steph : Is the letter to the bank sent already ?!

Miss Lam : Its writen but we are waiting for my boss to sign it, n he will be back next week !

Steph : Your boss DOESNT KNOW ABOUT THIS YET?

Miss Lam : He does, but we need his signature before we sent the letter to finance dept, n they will sent it to our bank which will then be forward to YOUR BANK !

Steph : When do i get to see the copy? I am going to reject it before your boss, if U DO NOT MENTION THE INTEREST TO MY CREDIT CARD COMPANY ! - Im not paying for your interest!

Miss Lam: We havent DISCUSS THAT YET !

Steph: HOW LONG MORE DO U NEED? can we try to get this done, before CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR !? IM PLANNING TO BE ON HOLIDAY !

Miss Lam: I really cannot say !!

Steph : Sigh ! (still very calm about things) what about my current prepaid membership ! I do not want to be a member anymore since this had happen !

Miss Lam: Sorry canot do anything about that! Because there is no basis on you stoping ?

Steph : OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS

Miss Lam: but i can extend another 3 months for u !

Steph : and stretch it out to 21 months? I need more months when, im telling u i want to quit...does that make sense to u, miss lam ?

Miss Lam: thats all i can do !

Steph ! U should have told me, u cannot make a decision on this n stop wasting my time ! So is this your Final offer?!

Miss lam: YES

Steph : In that case, Please cease my membership ! Im making a report n i guess we will finally meet but in court !

Miss Lam: I can try again for u!

Steph : Make a decision NOW ! Im pissed, i will be able to explain things to my lawyer better now !

Miss Lam : Do you not trust me?

Steph : Excuse me ? I should trust u, because?!

The rest is history !

Random mind !

2008-06-09T10:29:00.003+08:00

Such an angry post the last 1...... well i am reasonably happy today - prolly caused by two stress factors who went on holiday for a couple of weeks - ahhhhh peace n quiet for a while !

ok steph- think Happy Thoughts, Happy Thoughts !!!

Oh oh ! I watched P.S I love you - OMG, this movie is 1 hell of a love story man ! - must watch !

Uh ! n Zack called this morning ;) nice to know, ya back in the country ! give me a call when u are back in town ! n No ! i cannot afford another holiday ! - No time :( - would LOVE too thou !

errrrmmmmm what else? hummmm I haven't seen Anton for a while ....if u drop by my blog, this is your cue to give me a call ! - Ill try to make sure, we dont kill one another with our stupid statements we make at each other ;)

Ok, I have to log off now, I HAVE TO WORK :)

oh yeah ! full tank for my car now is RM 150 from RM 97 !!

Muhahhaha ! I've been practicing in Taxes Hold'em - im ready to make some extra fuel cash !!

And And - IVE GOT A HOT SEXY TAN !! - Kinda pealing off already, so, guys, lets meet up, i wanna show off my tan before i become that typical Chinese fair looking thing again :(

Im annoyed

2008-05-27T12:08:00.005+08:00

I get annoyed - yes thats rite !

recent annoyance :

Sister being back home
Taking of my stuffs without me knowing, n not returning them - stealing
Parents bickering
Parent's mood swings
Moody People around me
People waking up on the wrong side of the bed , n looking at me, like i was their beds !

Im starting to think people around me, meets up while im asleep and discuss about how they are going to annoy me on a daily basis !

Y cant u ppl just smile and live your life without having to run me down all the time !?

fuck sakes ppl ! leave me alone ! - I NEED SPACE FROM U PPL TOO !!

Things i need to do to balance out:

love making
wine
beach
sun
my music
my book
my sunnies
my bikini
a massage

Argh n my back is hurting the fuck out of me too !! even my body is annoying me :(

I have a weakness !

2008-05-22T11:21:00.006+08:00

Im an occasional fan of cars. U know how some girls can cum just by buying the rite dress or having the rite guy call her?? well, the same can happen to me, if i am driving the rite car !I dont just fantasize about owning the car, But in the privacy of my own 4 walls I fantasize about smelling the leather of a car, hold its steering wheel and foresee me cumming upon acceleration & Drifting.

My new weakness :Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4

Watch the video on it : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbdZSLmfsXg&fmt=18

Energy

2008-05-21T10:47:00.002+08:00

Its been known that i have to have too much energy 1 person can handle ! (according to Isabel) i need to bring it all out, else ill be very hard ! - she feels the force !!hehe !! - i totally agree! i am always collected n calm n could see shits coming from miles away !

ah ! i need to get back into my physical routine -I need to balance my body & mind !

Rock climbing - 22nd/ 5/08 - 7.30 pm - camp 5 @ One Utama - anyone ?

Sweeney Todd

2008-05-20T23:43:00.002+08:00

Generally I Love Johnny Depp movies n i Love it even more when Tim Burton is the director of the movie !

Sweeney Todd was a musical - it was extremely hard for me to find "kaki" to watch the movie . All the men are too macho for musicals :(
and all the ladies weren't interested in revenge, dark kinda movies without happy endings.

So downloaded it , set at home, watching Sweeney todd all by myself with my juice AND without any interruptions of phone calls or smses or MSN messages.

Peace with my musical which i enjoyed very much !

I loved how twisted the whole story is yet it was a musical which i tot was brilliant !! We hardly find movies like this anymore !

Hummm wonder if stevie would enjoy this movie ??

I'm turned on by humor

2008-05-20T23:25:00.002+08:00

Admit it - you like funny people. As much as you value physical appearances, your heart just melts when someone makes you laugh. You enjoy sarcasm and wit - and value great conversation. The quickest way inside your pants is through tickling your funny bone - and your partner knows all about it!

Never a test I've virtually taken has came out with this conclusion about me, this is to totally WAY out off ...... piff to think ladies appreciate these kinda nonsense !

Forwarded email

2008-05-12T16:52:00.001+08:00

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Yes, n PMS happens every month ! N i feel immortal ....

Jack Johnson, John Mayer & Jason Marz

2008-04-30T08:58:00.004+08:00

I dont think i can get bored listening to either 1 of these hotties.......

I was just re watching Jack Johnson's - Taylor video which had Ben Stiller in it...... Ben Stiller is such a ding dong, he killed a chicken in the biggining of the video.....

Jack Johnson's music - gives me that whole holiday feeling - must be just cause i know he use to be a professional surfer ......

but i think Jack Johnson, John Mayer & Jason Marz (all of which are my fav. ppl i listen too) - has a face for radio !! hehe

lost someone !

2008-04-22T18:38:00.002+08:00

Remember at 1 point in life it was really easy to love?

u might have it now, yet u cant feel it fulfilling u ?

Sigh ! if only i was still so simple and easily pleased ...... life would have been greater...

Convocation - 20th April 2008

2008-04-21T11:36:00.007+08:00

This is the - WHERE IS ME COFFEE, AND I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS MONKEY SUIT ASAP ! - face

Dad looks all happy today !!

Hello Mom ! smile la !?
My classmates !

We're missing some ppl from this photo for some reason! Isabel, Suleiman, Desmond, Irfan, Yeoh, Derek, Lina and Soo.....Wish u guys could be here to make this picture complete ! But what the heck ! there's alwasy beer sessions ! ;)

More then a hand full

2008-04-16T01:37:00.004+08:00

To think that a handful of the people i know reads this blog, i realize today, that i was wrong. To my suprise, i now know how many of u actually reads this blog.

Goodness, the response to it was totally unexpected. Ive been blogging with the fact that " no 1 reads this blog" in mind, but apparently alot of my friends reads this.

okok, i think I owe some people an explanation to the last 3 entries. Also i would like to apologize to some, for not being able to explain myself when u were concern n had to call me at the wrong time; but here goes:

UPDATE:
last wednesday, i had a fight with my folks and as i couldnt take it anymore, I CHOOSE TO WALK OUT ! (yes yes, to some of u, i know, u are rolling your eyes, thinking - typical steph!)

Yes, i RAN !

i was super depress, upset and confuse all at the same time. went out n rented an apartment, acquired some new housemates, sent my resume out to get a job to self sustain myself. Cause when i walked out of the house, it means - i left my parents, my room, my car and my job - YUP - I LEFT IT ALL !

HOWEVER, i was suppose to sleep in the new apartment yesterday. BUT, as i was checking my email for job replies, MY MOM SKYPE ME N SAID - still dont want to come home? keep the long story short, MOM MADE ME COME HOME THAT NIGHT ITSELF !

n not wanting to break her heart any further, i did ! and therefore last night, we talked about things and job and MY IRRESPONSIBLE ATTITUDE ..................... anyway, i get work else where now, until i m ready to work for them again ! ahhhhhhh !!

So the drama of my life ends, and today i took the folks to dinner to apologize for my arrogance. n now ! i get my life back !

and the 1st thing i did, was sniff my pillow n said - next time, i ran away, u're coming with me ! - joking ! but yes, it is great to have my room back ! i love my mess too much !

oh ! on that note ! im thinking if i should keep the room i rented, for the weekends or Rent it out?

beautiful location with awesome house mates @ Damansara Perdana called- Perdana View ! Pool view, with air con n all that shit !

i just hate giving up whats mine !

Special Thanks !

2008-04-14T04:13:00.004+08:00

Special thanks goes out to all ! it was great to have your input, a different perspective and opportunities given was obviously needed.

Puya - Thanks for having and putting up with me these couple of nights. Poor u, have to listen to me whine about it all "must be annoying to have me around so much more then u've bargain for" -hehe!! *kiss kiss* Of course, thanks for pushing me and always getting on my case.

Felicia - Thanks to the fact that u're in between jobs; which allows u to give time to my madness of searching for a place to stay and helping me pimp my CV.

Isabel - Thanks for forcing the story out of me !! U know, u've always been one person who's made me see things clearer just by saying the rite thing; be it by question or conclusion u've drawn. *kiss kiss* tot i can do this on my own, but guess not huh ? ;)

Jason Phoon - Thanks for calling me all the way from AUS. to check on me and the progress of this situation. Wish u were here ;)

Andrew - thanks for pretending to listen and sincerely offering a helping hand. It's well appreciated !! muaxx !!

Klas - I still think its weird how we just clicked n still keep intouch in that short span of time we've known each other! Thanks for the boost of ego/confidence and pretending to believe in me. Pretended assurance was needed too ;) - more then u know !

Zetuan - Thanks for offering to help me send my CV out.

Cuz Johnson and Mary - Thanks for easing things out for me. Coolest Cuz, anyone can ask for

Nita - Thanks for hooking me up with my new house mates, gal. They're really cool ! we clicked almost instantly. Do pop over for a couple of beers!!

Nikki and Nesh (my new housemates) - thanks for hooking me up with the new crib! Im in love with the place and looking forward to moving in with u guys ! hope we wouldn't fight too much !! N i hope, i don't tire u guys out with my hyperness - i know, i pitty u too......
*they are as easy going as a couple can be - couldnt hope for anything more*

MBA group - thanks for the BBQ - it was a well needed 1. i totally needed my NORMAL night out with u guys for some shit talk and gamble ! (U know ones i work out that poker face of mine, I'll kick all your asses, rite?)

Life - Thanks for this EVERYTHING (situation n friends !)

There are a couple of things, this situation has thought me.

independence - its NOT ALWAYS the way to go ! INTERDEPENDENCE helps u move faster !
Letting go - i have to work on this 1, ALOT ! - YES ! im emotionally constipated !
being proud - it's really a bitch but im working on it!!
Breathing - it helps with the heart ache !
Crying - ermm, its still gay as far as i am concern, but i m learning to think its ok on a well needed basis.

I'M TOO PROUD & SILLY

2008-04-14T03:31:00.005+08:00

I know my last entry sounds super emo. But im here, sitting down pimping my new CV n watching JUNO at the same time. Then it just hit me, that i know what i am going to say to my parents when the time comes. ( it could be worst - im pregnant!! haha)

I feel slightly better knowing what to say now. I just hope, i REMEMBER what to say n how to say it (calmly) when the time comes. *sigh* - i hate confrontation.

update update - I've just moved into Perdana View now and im sharing it with a couple. Ive never met them before this. But to my absolute surprise, I do not think i can find anyone better to be living with. These people are cool and the chemistry was almost instant. U will know, when u guys meet them. We're planning a house warming when the time is rite! Oh ! and the place, is GREAT!

20 % of the toughest times are over, as these few days has gone by. I realize now, that I've got fantastic people around me, and probably understands me more then I do myself. There is nothing more then having friends at your darkest hours.

U know how people always say, there is only less then a handful of your friends that are REALLY TRUE FRIENDS?? But I really do NOT think so. I am blessed with some really fantastic friends from all over But im just too PROUD to notice. silly!! yes i know !

These couple of days, i swear, its the DARKEST TIME an asian 25 year old female could ever ASK for (yes it was self inflected). but I would say, i have torch light as friends that is willing to light it up for me at anytime.

Now how brown cow ??

2008-04-11T11:07:00.003+08:00

Ive recently came to a fork road in life and i've taken the road that I've never traveled on before.

As it is new to me, everyone around me, seems to be giving me advice thats all over the place. Some supportive, some not. All the same, i have sat n pondered about in the middle of the night which then leads to tears of confusion and sadness all at the same time.

Its a change in life. all i can tell myself is to SUCK it up n pull through this fucking hurdle ! But then at nights when i take my ego and pride off n go to bed, emotions and memories flows through my head, tears follows with it which leaves me afraid to sleep now or rest or just keeping still for that matter.

I wish i can just wake up from this nightmare, but then again, what would i wake up to ? the same reality? which is something i really do not want.

shit happens !

2008-04-07T14:11:00.002+08:00

Weird shit happens ! what would life be without shit ? = BORING !

I think i need a holiday !

my b'day according to facebook analysis says :

2008-04-04T14:40:00.003+08:00

You neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with others' life. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You are always in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way that occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you childish and not very attractive in that sense. Your Love, Your fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are great. You often find yourself trapped among a few great guys while you have to choose only one.

Your greatest STRENGTHS ...

Witty and highly adjustable in hard times.

Your greatest WEAKNESS ...

i would say NONE - but this thing seems to think its - Impatient, impetuous and quarrelsome.

Jobs you should pursue ...

i disagree but it says - Teachers, lecturers, writers, announcers, investors.

Tolerance level

2008-04-01T19:20:00.003+08:00

Generally my tolerance level for things and people is HIGH ! Very High, i must add....

yes ! u may say its a good thing, but i assure u, its not all Good !

I tolerate so much that by the time, i get home, n do some reflecting, i say - WHY THE HELL WAS I SITTING THERE ALL THAT TIME when i could be doing something else.

Good side of it, it helps when im out doing sales n listening in meetings.

Understanding me!

2008-03-31T00:24:00.003+08:00

Recently ive been pondering alot about me n who i am n my purpose in life !!

Well, not so much about death. but more of power as a person. About how im moved by environments around me and how vibes that I feel, sense or touch when i meet a person.

I cant put it in words to describe a person when i meet them, however my reaction (uncontrollable) or conversation (again uncontrollable) tells me certain things !

i act in reaction to environments and situation which i personally find very weird because i do not have an objective reason at that time, to treat that person the way i did. However, i will not restrain but i will learn to UNDERSTAND this more.

At the mean time, i will just let senses take charge of my fragile life as the world throws deceit, assholes and everything else at me.

I guess thats y, i always expect my other half to understand me more then i can understand myself ! but there are some guys who just goes on n on n on about themselves n occationally throw in that i have a cute ass ! - hahaha !

P.s - to those who's been complaining about my blog entries being inconsistent, this is for u ! now u have something to read ! pointless but still, something i've wrote ......

The Fork - By Puya B.E.

2008-03-28T17:50:00.004+08:00

The Fork

Stumbling still on this path so narrow,
look right, the repetition of tomorrow
look left, the sea of mists
The hand of guidance against
My Luciferuce dreams

"Hello I, This way or that"
The mirror behind me repeats continuously
The dreamy mists or the bland road?
I follow my guidance hand

"He's a breaker" states the gravel
"He's a follower" snickers the dirt
"He's mine" whispers the earth

I stamp loudly on the ground
My presence to be bowed
Hunger ignored for pride
Myself the world should recognise

"My faith in you complete
The break the chain needs
Tombs built for your feat"
The Gravel chants in my head

With every step, i fight
defenseless words with no paper
A gun to my head, the pencil wavers
I'm shallow, I follow

"Come this way, you sod" mocked the dirt
"deny yourself, smash the clock
follow the crumpets, food for the moment
there you go, down the spiral"

Dizzy, I run reckless
The end, the unplotted plot
The climax, but no finale
Defiant screams of injustice

"Your existence, defiance unvalued
fear took you the straight road
come now let me devour
My faeces life might explore"

My fate the Earth dictates

Complementary of Ronald Fauvel

2008-03-28T11:29:00.008+08:00

Dear all ! what do u think ?

To men :
As soon as u decided to give me that card, u better be READY to be paying for all my WANTS ! Cause honey i can handle my own expenses....im just women like that !

I don't think any guy/gal, can afford my finances + emotions all at the same time. If u are going to start giving me your credit card now.....i'd say.....my dear, this is going to be a long relationship for u !

n a short 1 for me, cause i can max out that motherfucker in a day !

Guys dont be fool by girls and their finances..... EVERY GAL CAN FEND FOR HERSELF ! just look at our expenditure before we met u..... we can sit down in a bar, n buy ourselves drinks; we can shop till we drop n still have cash end of the month..... we hardly need your cash !

well, this is my opinion - ANY REAL WOMEN CAN !

this is weird !

2008-03-26T12:00:00.003+08:00

here im worry about the company and all of its shit that comes with it, - revenue, expansion, level of stock we have left and getting more ppl in

on the other hand, my subordinate is telling me, he's dreaming about becoming a WIZARD ? n here i am worried about his car loan n application for his credit card so he can get a laptop .......

sigh ! im tired, just too tired to argue .....

how do u think my ego feels everytime i look into the mirror ?

2008-03-17T17:02:00.005+08:00

girl with a broken heart ......

2008-03-13T10:40:00.005+08:00

She picks herself up and learn to live the life of a beautiful single social lite,
Loving it as much as she did, she allows herself to fall in love,
little did she know she was caught in the same cage she try to forget many years ago,
But why?

Isn't she allowed to fall in love?
How can every guy she meets be so wrong?
maybe its her demands?
was she not allowed to have demands?
or was it just not the right time?

As she sees the world go pass,
she thinks to herself - am i going to be the last?
with this thought, she carries with her,
she keeps herself busy with dreams and demands of herself as a person.

Sure! the world is entertained by her goals,
but it never seem to be enough for her,
As she pushes, she fights the world of their insecurity and formality,
she slowly learns to pick her wars to win.

Winning was the only thing that feeds her ego, personally,
she doesnt take compliments easily as she thinks people do not understand her enough,
therefore, she thinks their complements are invalid,
yet she takes it, because there wasn't enough fights or experience in her yet .

by me !

Random Thoughts 2

2008-03-10T10:56:00.003+08:00

Occationally i get random thoughts ..... keeps me going - hehe

Im hungry :(
camels - haha
chicken in bag
oooOOOoooo chocolate moose
resume
job
im hungry again
thongs - where did this come from ??
GUNS
snow
window
me being shy
the good german

okok, should stop here ! that was extremely random

Swans !

2008-03-04T11:02:00.002+08:00

Swans = LIFE PARTNER

Change ? = We change in life - Constantly ! No 1 can truly say, we're the same person we were yesterday. we gain more information n experience in life, everyone changes in life !

How can we possibly say things like " i will love u forever" ? or "to death do us part"? - this just doesn't make sense !

How can we possibly live with someone for the rest of our lives? - look at our relationship with our parents ! We were brought up BY them .... n we love them, yet we defy them n say they do not understand us, weirdly they say the same thing? - maybe its the age difference ? - does love has age?

I personally think its impossible to be satisfied with another person in our lives for a long time. We get old, grumpy, disturbed, need of personal space...bla bla bla ! which just leads to wishing u were alone n have dogs who response to u !

Compromising is the biggest part in a relationship - ACCORDING TO SOME!

Now ! aren't we always saying, LIFE IS SHORT? Compromising takes up time, heaps of it, in fact! Y ? WHY ? do we allow someone else to take our time ? We own our lives, y, share it doing something, we DO NOT want to do ?

are these excuses for me to stay away from relationships ? maybe i am just feeling down this week (PMS)?

Elections ? Politics ?

2008-02-28T11:14:00.002+08:00

OK ! so here we go ! Malaysia is undergoing our "Erections" on the 8th of March 2008.

What i do not understand is how some people are so Blinded by Propaganda and ignorant to whats out there. here i am trying to have a frustrating conversation about the elections and all my friend has to say is NOD n change the topic to entertainment news !

I ask - are u voting this time around?

Him - yup ! for BN !

me - Really ? Y BN? - thinking , wow, this' this first...

Him - havent we always voted for BN ?

maybe im just frustrated by all the news and articles i get to read about the elections n i need someone to talk to, n he is just not helping ! sigh !

another incident ! - with insurance agent !

Him - Steph ! im having a horrible day !

Me - Me too ! my client pushed their opening to august !

him - My big client, has been stalling on the payment

Me - Maybe, he's waiting to see the outcome of election before he gives u a lump sum of his cash!

him - his's non malaysiam, he's got nothing to do with the elections.

Me - whats he doing in malaysia ? Work ?

him - works here, just not malaysian

me - Of course the election affects him ! OMG !

ppl ! the election affects everyone, young, old, directly or indirectly ! whatever this country turns into, if u are living here, have investments, work here or even employ ppl from here or work for Malaysians or serve the Malaysian Market - this will affect your income, well-being, welfare, FUTURE!

Do not be ignorant n say shit like - i dont know ? how is it going to affect me ? what can i do ?

thou we our gov. MAY cheat to win - i hope thats enough to WAKE THEM UP !

Politicians will always be politicians, does that mean, we are not entitled to slam them to the ground as "THE RAKYAT" ??

Growing up

2008-02-26T17:26:00.002+08:00

Recently, i have came across a lot of people who are actually moving on with their lives. These people are what i would call - People who are GROWING UP !

These people are recently Engaged, Pregnant, Married, Buying Homes, and living the PERFECT LIFE of Happily ever after !

U see, i grew up watching movies where the Princes are alwasy saving the princesses (Blame Disney). But dad blew it all for me, when he embedded in my head that there is NO SUCH THING AS A HAPPILY EVER AFTER LIFE !! - no two swans swim into the sunset ! - he was always practical and always ensure reality check with me.

Of course from where i am standing, my friends marriages seems to be leaving me behind! it seem to be screaming - GROW UP WOMEN ! yet others are saying - TAKE YOUR OWN TIME!
Basically i feel like a CHILD.

They all know what they want to do with their lives and they are out there doing it. Sure I know what I want out of life too, but it seems to happen faster for other people. hummmmm

Please don’t misunderstand me about the whole marriage and couple thing. For many people it represents living happily ever after with another person. That isn’t the issue that concerns me. If I wanted a partner or a house I would get it, regardless of whether I were single or not. I’ve got enough inner monologue to keep me occupied for years. Owning a house or a other half is about permanence, dont think i can handle that yet !

guess it all comes down to 1 think ! me not GROWN UP YET!!

what do u say?

2008-02-21T19:09:00.002+08:00

When your other half says - HE BOOKED ME 1st !

you go - lets go for dinner?
He goes - sorry he booked me 1st !
You Go - cancel on him ! im lonley ! PLEASE !
he goes - sorry he called 1st

*now you are pissed cause u've actually cancelled plans for him before ! now u go - WHAT THE HELL ? this aint happening !!

him - ill have a short dinner with him, then ill pack something for u !

you - I have other ppl to go out with tonight

him - Ill take u out after u are done k ?

You - NOPE !

can't u guys understand when a independent gal needs some company ? SHE SAID PLEASE ! that means i feel down ! - dude sense the TONE !